Dear Annie: I need advice on how to approach my son about the disorder in his house. He was raised in a very neat home. When he lived alone for several years, his house was immaculate. He’s now been married for four years. They have a 2-year-old and one on the way.

Their house is in total disarray — laundry basket full of dirty clothes, counters and every surface full of junk. He does all the cooking and works full time. I don’t want to insult them, but I can afford to get them organized. I don’t want to overstep as the mother-in-law, though. Any advice? — Neat Freak

Dear Neat Freak: It sounds like your son and his wife have their hands full with a 2-year-old and another on the way. I’m sure your son would appreciate a little extra help around the house, but it is possible his wife might not. She might have grown up in a messy household and that’s what makes her comfortable.

Have a conversation with them without criticizing them. Acknowledge how busy they are and that you want to offer your services around the house in any way that might be helpful. Let’s hope that cleaning and organizing top their list, but even if they employ your services with other chores, it will free up more time for them.

Remember “The Odd Couple,” where Felix was a neat freak and Oscar was a slob? If that’s what you are dealing with, you might need to back off if you want to avoid being a meddling mother-in-law.

Dear Annie: I try my best not to be a jealous person. My boyfriend of three years has been sick and just got out of the hospital from a cancer-related health issue. He lives at my home with me. He said that there is nothing wrong with letting all his exes come by our home to visit him after getting out of the hospital. I have a problem with that.

I don’t care how he throws a fit that they are just friends and there is nothing going on between him or any of them. He just started telling them that they could come on by, and he never even asked me if it was OK with me or if I had bad feelings about it. He just decided it doesn’t matter how I feel about it and that he can have them visit him at our home anytime they want.

Annie, am I wrong or selfish for getting offended or upset about this decision that he made, no matter if I like it or not, because these are his friends? Please tell me because he thinks that I’m wrong for getting upset and mad about it. What should I have done in this ordeal? — Upset Girlfriend

Dear Upset Girlfriend: Exes popping up can be uncomfortable under any circumstance, but the fact that your boyfriend invited them around without a discussion or your consent makes it even worse. For him to then get so bent out of shape and angry at you is unacceptable.

In instances like these, open communication with your partner is crucial. Share your concerns with him and figure out how to set boundaries together. It sounds like the real issue here is that he doesn’t take you into consideration when he makes decisions, which is a big red flag and one that must be addressed for your relationship to thrive.

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“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.