EDITOR:

The recent hysteria over the DOGE (Department of Government Efficiency) findings is as revealing as the report itself. Suddenly, a chorus of bureaucrats is wailing about the “threat to public service”, not because the findings are wrong, but because the grift is being exposed.

Let’s be honest: DOGE isn’t cutting EMTs or bridge inspectors. It’s pulling the curtain back on the useless layers of government bloat, the endless internal briefings, redundant management layers, and projects that serve no one but the people collecting a paycheck to run them. And it’s not just here at home. While some are panicking over their job security, perhaps they should be more concerned about how U.S. tax dollars are being shipped overseas for garbage science.

We’ve funneled hundreds of millions into foreign “research” projects that read like satire: studying the social habits of pigeons in Budapest, developing an app to teach dance to fish, or examining how long it takes for drunk rats in South America to fall over. These aren’t jokes, my friends, they’re real grants. Funded. Approved. Paid for by American taxpayers. Try explaining that to the family struggling to afford insulin or a working-class parent wondering why their kid’s school hasn’t been updated since the Clinton administration.

DOGE is just pointing out what everyone with common sense already knew: the system is infested with waste. And the people shrieking the loudest? They know deep down their positions can’t survive scrutiny. If your role adds real value, you’re probably too busy working to panic. But if your job consists of writing reports no one reads about programs no one needs, yes, DOGE is coming for you.

This isn’t about dismantling public service. It’s about finally demanding one that serves the public. Efficiency isn’t cruelty, it’s accountability. The taxpayer deserves better than being fleeced at home while their money funds drunken rodent experiments abroad.

If you’re afraid of losing your position to efficiency, maybe it’s time to do what the prior administration once told coal miners: learn to code.

Gregory Tolman

Escanaba