I love you
All of us desire acceptance, approval, affection, affirmation and intimacy. Many of us grew up missing one or more of those. Perhaps we had a hard time receiving what we wanted or needed. Maybe it was given — just hard to pick up.
Recently, a female American journalist toured a Russian orphanage. One ward contained 40 cribs holding 1-3 year olds. As they entered the ward, the nurse told the reporter not to touch or give any attention to any one child. As they walked through, the kids reached out and cried wanting her attention. Ending the tour, the nurse told her what she already knew — these kids had little to no human “touch” and inside and out were dying.
I recently saw an online video of a baby in an electric rocker crib which hummed while the mother sat near it — on her phone. Something wrong with that picture. I encourage readers to go online to the 3-minute “Still Face Experiment” and watch how babies respond to smiling and then no-contact — all within 90 seconds. It teaches us the necessity and high value of the need for social interaction and the power of touch at any age. The strong lack of human interaction of adults to children leads to psychopaths, criminals and narcissists.
40% of all American children live in a home without a father, a devastating fact. Boys especially need their dads. Moms — do all you can to get your kids connected to dads.
It is said that we may forget what someone did or said, but we will never forget how they made us feel. How do you make others feel? Safe? Loved? Cared for? Affirmed? Drugs screw it all up.
A while back, an old friend told me that his wife of 34 years was saddened that he verbally wouldn’t tell her that he “loved” her. Once at the altar was enough. Talk about loveless poverty. You have to tell your spouse and kids that and use the ‘love’ word. The macho man stuff is dangerous. After seven years of friendship with J locally, at the end of a phone conversation, I told him that I loved him. He responded similarly. The next day in Meijer, he hugged me and said, “Mike, sad, took so many years.”
The power of words and touch is huge. Yes, there is bad touch of course, but 98+% is not. Children eat it up, elders too. A few years back, my then 13-year old disabled nephew was in church many rows ahead of me. At the service’s end, he raced down the aisle and jumped into my arms…no words needed, hey? Take a risk and utter the love words that you feel. Tell a same-sex friend them. I dare you.