Heloise

Dear Heloise: I agree that gender reveal “parties” are just another way of asking for gifts. You’ll probably be invited to a baby shower and take a gift, and to me, one gift is plenty.

I’ve also seen “sprinkle” parties for a second or third child, which they say is a scaled-back baby shower. To me, these expectant parents are just asking for too much nowadays. — Margie, in Lisbon, Ohio

Margie, I have to agree and disagree. I know most first-time parents are excited about their first child and love to celebrate this happy occasion. I don’t believe in giving a gift at a gender reveal party if you have already given them a gift or have one that you’re ready to offer them at a baby shower.

One gift is enough unless you want to give a second one, but this is entirely up to you. Personally, I’ve only attended one gender reveal party, and no one brought a gift. — Heloise

Dear Heloise: Recycling clean paper is important to our communities, but there can be issues with processing shredded paper. Local rules about recycling shredded paper vary from one community to the next. In my community, shredded paper is only accepted for recycling if it is bagged. Other clean paper is not supposed to be bagged.

Before recycling things, people should know the local rules because not following the rules can muck things up. — Kenton M., via email

Dear Heloise: I have been a master recycing volunteer for 12 years and have taught composing to dozens of audiences. In addition to your list of what can go into compost, other critical components include shredded paper (no tape, cellophane or staples), water and air. Paper (carbon) should make up two-thirds of the mix to avoid getting a soupy mess.

The water and air are crucial for the microbes (largely bacteria), which are doing the “work” of decomposition. Throw in a few handfuls of native soil (not potting soil and no chemicals), and you’re adding trillions of decomposers. Voila! Free fertilizer! — Kris La M., in Oregon

Dear Heloise: Jerry S. Hutter thinks it’s a great idea for children to believe that Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy are real. But my parents didn’t lie to us about these, and I always appreciated it. They also told us that if our friends believed in Santa, it wasn’t our place to tell them otherwise, and I felt enlightened by knowing the truth.

When I ask people how many lies a person has to tell them before they don’t trust anything they say, the answer is always “one.” I’m baffled why people feel that it’s good or necessary to deceive kids. — Lee E., in Moseley, Virginia

Lee, there is a certain magic when children believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy. The beauty of these myths is not in the gift-giving; it’s in the story of sharing and caring.

Children will eventually learn what pitfalls there are in this world. They’ll discover that Santa does not come down the chimney, that Mom bought the chocolate bunny and jelly beans, and that the Tooth Fairy’s boon was actually from loose change that Dad had in his pocket or under the sofa cushions. So, why not let them have a childhood with all the joy, mystery and excitement that comes with believing? — Heloise

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Hints from Heloise run occasionally in Lifestyles. Readers may send a hint to Heloise, P.O. Box 795000, San Antonio, Texas 78279-5000, fax it to 210-HELOISE, or email: Heloise@Heloise.com. Letters won’t be answered personally.