Annie Lane

Dear Annie: Last year, I married the nicest guy I’ve ever met. I’m 40 and wish I’d met him sooner, but better late than never. On our month-long honeymoon in Europe, we attended a music festival. During the festival, my husband and I saw some other women in pasties, and in a moment of flirting, I did something totally out of character and bought some pasties myself and a glittery thong. I spent the next day dancing and partying in this revealing attire with my husband. I think everyone needs to have one wild moment in their life, and I had lots of fun.

After we got home, I found out the festival had hired a photographer to take pictures for their social media accounts. There I was in three photos online wearing only the glittery thong and pasties over my breasts, dancing on a mini stage they set up in the crowd. The pictures are untagged, so no one would connect them to me anyway, and my friends all think I look hot and that it isn’t a big deal. I own my own business, so I don’t need to worry about employment, and for now, only my friends know. Even so, I’m too embarrassed to tell my husband.

Should I confess to him that I’m in these pictures that will exist forever? Should I try to get the photos removed somehow? Should I even feel embarrassed? When I really think about it, it’s probably no big deal, but when the feelings of embarrassment kick in, I don’t know what to do! — Festival Flashback

Dear Festival Flashback: Honesty is the best policy, especially in marriage, and this isn’t so much a confession to your husband as it is simply sharing with him what you found. He was right there with you, participating in the event, too, even if there are no pictures of him to prove it.

You’re in a fortunate position that the pictures don’t affect your job or personal life. Still, if contacting the festival or social media account is easy enough, it’s worth asking if the photos can be taken down; you may care more later on and wish you had done so sooner. Don’t let this happy, carefree, innocent moment in the past become something you beat yourself up for now.

Dear Annie: My wife and I were recently invited to a friend’s son’s college graduation celebration at a bar two-and-a-half hours from our home. When we arrived and ordered our first drink, we were told all food and drinks were on individual tabs.

Shouldn’t the host have mentioned that in the invitation? Is it appropriate to ask about costs like this before RSVPing? My friend could easily have afforded to pick up the check for the gathering. I’m certainly glad I had the money to cover what we ordered. — Perplexed About the Etiquette

Dear Perplexed: Yes, the host should’ve made that clear in the invitation. If the party had been at their home instead, no one would expect to pay for food or drinks, so it’s reasonable to think the same would be true of a different venue, especially one you traveled hours to get to. If the hosts weren’t prepared to foot the bill, they should’ve been upfront about it.

In the future, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more details when an invite is vague and especially at public venues again. “Will food and drinks be provided?” is a completely fair question to ask ahead of time, and it lets you make a fully informed decision before committing to anything.

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Annie Lane’s second anthology — “How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.