Heloise

Dear Heloise: I have been reading letters in your column about the importance of children learning how to swim. I am 82 now, but back in the 1950s, my parents signed up my sister and me for swimming lessons, even though we had to drive to the next little town in Central Nebraska. — Marvin T., York, Nebraska

Marvin, this was a very kind thing your parents did for you and your sister. You never know when one day you’ll need to know how to swim or how to save another person from drowning. Swimming is also a good way to get some exercise on a nice, sunny day. — Heloise

Dear Heloise: Your hints and knowledge have always been helpful in the past, so maybe you can help me with a question I have. My dearest friend is getting married, and I don’t know what to wear. The church wedding is at 1 p.m. with a luncheon to follow at a restaurant.

I have a cocktail dress that’s black with some bead work around the neckline. It’s sleeveless and cut low in the back. All my friends say it’s too dressy for an afternoon wedding. So, what should I wear? — Tiffany S., Andrews, Texas

Tiffany, much depends on what you already have in your closet or what you can spend for a new dress. Here are a few hints for you to think about:

— Never wear white to someone else’s wedding. This also goes for ivory, cream, ecru, pale beige, pale yellow, or any color that might photograph as white. Black looks good at an evening wedding, but for the daytime, a color looks best.

— If you wear a sleeveless dress, be sure to also wear a jacket, shawl or sweater while in church. Many religious places and ceremonies prefer that women cover their shoulders. When in doubt, always go for modesty.

— Wear comfortable shoes. Nothing too casual and nothing too dressy. If there is dancing at the reception, you’ll be glad you wore shoes that don’t hurt your feet.

— Remember you need not spend a fortune on a new dress. Many times, things we wear to work will serve us as well as something new.

The important thing to remember is that you’re there to celebrate the happiness of two people, so enjoy the day no matter what you wear. — Heloise

Dear Heloise: I have a great tip to share: List all of your medications with the dosage and frequency on the notes app on your iPhone. It’s easy to edit and easy to provide at the doctor’s office. — Tom S., Bay Village, Ohio

Dear Heloise: My future brother-in-law has asked to make a toast at our wedding, and I want to turn him down gently. He’s not a terrible person, but his idea of humor isn’t usually funny. In fact, it’s often insulting, especially after he’s had a couple of drinks.

My fiance and I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but we would rather do just that than have him tell some of his off-color stories or jokes. Got any hints to help us avoid a bad situation at an important event? — Ellen H., Glenview, Illinois

Ellen, ask him to either write out his toast first and let your fiance review it, or better yet, let him do a presentation in front of the both of you as a dry run before the wedding. If he refuses, tell him he may not make a toast and, as kindly as possible, tell him why. — Heloise

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Hints from Heloise run occasionally in Lifestyles. Readers may send a hint to Heloise, P.O. Box 795000, San Antonio, Texas 78279-5000, fax it to 210-HELOISE, or email: Heloise@Heloise.com. Letters won’t be answered personally.