Dear Annie: I’m struggling with how to move forward after my adult daughter, “Rachel,” cut me off two years ago. We used to be close. I raised her as a single mom after her father left, and we leaned on each other through a lot. Things started to change after she got married. Her husband, though polite, has always kept a distance from me. I tried to respect that, but honestly I felt pushed out. It feels like the beginning of their relationship marked the end of ours.

Our last real conversation ended badly. I had asked if they would consider spending part of the holidays with me instead of always going to his family. Rachel got defensive and said I was making her choose. I said something in the heat of the moment that I regret: I told her she’d understand when she had kids of her own. She hasn’t spoken to me since.

I’ve sent birthday cards, texts and an apology letter, but she never replies. I don’t know if I should keep reaching out or give her space. I miss her terribly, but I also don’t want to keep reopening the wound. How do I respect her boundaries without giving up hope? — Left Behind in Louisville

Dear Left Behind: We’ve all been there — saying something in the heat of the moment that we come to regret. What matters is how we handle ourselves afterward, and your apology sounds like it was heartfelt and earnest.

Consider writing Rachel a letter explaining how much you miss the closeness you shared when she was younger. Refrain from mentioning her husband or blaming her marriage.

You don’t have to choose between silence and smothering. It’s OK to reach out every once in a while just to let her know the door is still open.

Dear Annie: I’m a loyal reader, and you have helped me several times with your answers to various questions. I’m in need of more advice.

My family is of American Gypsy descent, and we hold a lot of family values and traditions that people outside our heritage may not understand. That being said, we have grown close to many church members and neighbors in our Georgia community.

My daughter is 17 and will be getting married when she turns 18, just a couple of months from now. I’m not sure how to explain to friends who don’t know our background that marrying young is normal for us, even though it may seem unusual to others.

We’ve invited people who are familiar with our heritage and are happy to celebrate her wedding, but I don’t know what to say to those who assume she’s preparing for college, when in fact she’s preparing to be a wife. This is her decision, and it’s not being forced on her because of our family’s traditions.

Please help. I’m unsure whether I should say anything at all, and if so, what to say. — Caught Between Worlds

Dear Caught: You and your daughter don’t owe anyone an explanation for your family’s heritage or her choices. If someone asks about her future plans, you can simply say, “She’s excited to be starting married life soon. It’s a decision she’s made after a lot of thought and with our support.”

People may naturally be curious, but don’t let that put you on the defensive. Be proud of your traditions without feeling the need to explain them to everyone. There’s no one “right” blueprint for life; ultimately, we all make choices based on what works best for us.

Your daughter is about to begin an exciting new chapter. Focus on celebrating with those who want to share in that happiness. Those who don’t, don’t matter.

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Annie Lane’s second anthology — “How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.