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Can’t get over past hurts caused by husband

Dear Annie: I’m so confused, and I don’t know what to do. I have been married for four months, and I truly love my husband and believe that he loves me.

My problem is that he cheated on me about two years ago with multiple women, and not only that, he proposed to one of them. It’s a long story. But since then, he’s been the perfect guy — the person I met six years ago.

I can’t seem to get past all the things he did to me before we were married. I cry daily even though it’s been two years since it happened. He does everything for me, but I’m very unappreciative. Should I just call it quits and move on? This is the only way I believe I’ll get over this. What do you think? — Need Answers

Dear Need Answers: The best way to stop agonizing over this is to make a decision and stick with it, no matter what. You could choose to stay with him if you truly believe that he has changed. If so, you must forgive him and put the past in the past — for good. The worst type of suffering we inflict on ourselves is living with resentment and anger. By setting him free, you will set yourself free, too.

On the other hand, if you cannot truly forgive him, you have to break up with him, as living in an ungrateful and angry state will only cause a further divide in your relationship.

You have the power to move on either way. You just have to choose.

Dear Annie: My son has been married twice and has a son from each marriage. The sons are 25 years apart. The older one is married and lives in another state. He does not stay in touch with family here as he should, so I decided to do a search online for him. I was shocked!

He is listed as a child sex offender! My son’s younger son just turned 5, and I worry because my son keeps saying he wants to visit his oldest so the brothers can bond. I am also heartbroken, since I helped raise my oldest grandson and he was a very sweet child. Should I tell my son or keep quiet? — Heartbroken

Dear Heartbroken: I understand your shock and hurt. You have to tell your son about this. Your oldest grandson should not be anywhere near children, including his younger brother. Since you helped raise him, reach out to him and make sure that he is in treatment and has a great psychiatrist.

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“Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie” is out now! Annie Lane’s debut book — featuring favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette – is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.

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