Rude cousin comes by unwanted and leaves when needed
Dear Annie: A cousin of mine found out that we get all the different sports networks in our cable package, and ever since, he has invited himself over to watch games at our house all the time, on a weekly basis. This was frustrating in itself — but then recently, something unbelievable happened. He was over watching a game at our house, yet again, when my 65-year-old girlfriend began having severe chest pains (which we later learned was a heart attack). As I attempted to figure out what was going on and to help her, this relative said that he’d get out of our way and abruptly left. He just walked out the door, not bothering to call 911 or even to shut the door behind him.
What do I do about my cousin? — Put Out
Dear Put Out: This guy’s behavior is so out of bounds; it’s not even in the stadium. Treating your house like his own personal sports bar was rude. Turning his back on you and your girlfriend in a life-threatening situation was flat-out heartless. I really hope she’s OK.
If he dares to invite himself over again after what happened, let him know you’ll no longer be hosting him for games. It’s that simple. Embrace the power of “no.”
Dear Annie: My boyfriend and I will have been together three years next month. He doesn’t say he loves me, and he refuses to talk about feelings in general. He won’t make love to me or even hold my hand or kiss me. When I spend the night at his place, he avoids lying close to me in bed. He says he has no sex drive, but he just turned 50. I’m a nice-looking woman who stays in shape. The one time we’ve had sex in the past year, it was all about him — no concern for my needs. On top of this, he never compliments me. What should I do? — Lonely Girlfriend
Dear Lonely: The recipe for strong romantic relationships calls for affection, intimacy, dedication and communication. If physical intimacy were the only missing ingredient, I’d say that he should see a doctor about his low libido, as it can signal serious underlying health problems. But sex isn’t the only missing ingredient. He’s giving you nothing to work with. I know this is easier said than done, but I really encourage you to end this relationship and spend some quality time with yourself. It will be hard at first, but in the long run, you will feel much less lonely on your own than you do in this relationship. Return to the dating scene only after you’d rather be by yourself than with the wrong person.
Dear Annie: Your response to “Scared to Smile” was incorrect. There is a huge difference between dentures and implants. Dentures are removable. They can slip around while eating and talking. They often have to be removed at night and soaked to clean them.
Implants are just exactly what it sounds like. They are metal posts that are implanted into the jaw bone and then have crowns, that look like natural teeth, glued onto them. They are permanent. They do not move. They are actually stronger and last longer than natural teeth. And unless you tell someone you have implants or get your teeth X-rayed, no one would ever know you had them.
If this person is so self-conscious of her dentures, she should look into implants. If there is a dental school near her, she likely can get them done for very little money. — Person with Implants
Dear Person: Thanks for setting me straight on this, and I appreciate the practical piece of advice.
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“Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie” is out now! Annie Lane’s debut book — featuring favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to email@example.com.