×

Girls’ trip is getting to be a bit too crowded

Dear Annie: I’m thrilled to finally be planning trips with friends again, now that we’re all vaccinated and things are opening back up. Two of my best friends — let’s call them “Molly” and “Bella” — and I rented a vacation house about two and a half hours away, planning to do a long girls’ weekend. We’ve lined up appointments at a spa together, picked out board games to play and everything. The three of us haven’t been great about talking on the phone and over Zoom during quarantine, so I’ve been looking forward to catching up and seeing how they’re doing.

But now, “Molly” is talking about inviting two other friends of hers. Bella and I have only met these other two women a handful of times. They seem fine, but I was really looking forward to hanging out just the three of us. I’ve had some personal things going on in my life that I was hoping to open up to them about, but I’d feel weird talking about that stuff with acquaintances. And to be honest, after a year of being on my own most of the time, the idea of being around four other people for a few days straight sounds overwhelming. How do I tell her I’d prefer for it to just be us three on the trip, since we haven’t seen each other in so long? — Five’s a Crowd

Dear FAC: Just like that. There’s no need to make it complicated or personal. Explain to her what you told me: You’d like to keep it to just the three of you for this trip since you have a lot to catch up on. A best friend would never hold that against you.

Dear Annie: I’m in the process of grieving my husband, who died unexpectedly from a heart attack recently.

We met at 17 and never left each other’s arms; I fell madly in love with him at first sight.

We had 40 years together, a blissful beautiful marriage.

Now that he is gone my heart aches for him. I’m barely coping. I often have panic attacks and just feel very fearful all the time. My husband was my rock, my protector, my everything. My life seems worthless without him.

My two sons, ages 12 and 14, constantly ask me am I OK, and I say yes so they don’t worry. But honestly, I’m drowning in sorrow.

Do you have any suggestions for online grief counseling? — Totally Broken

Dear Broken: There are no words for me to properly express how sorry I am for your loss.

PsychologyToday.com has a comprehensive database of therapists. On the homepage, click “Find a therapist”; then enter your ZIP code and hit enter. You’ll be shown a list of therapists in your area. Click the “Issues” filter just above the results, and select “Grief.” Look for therapists who have “Offers online therapy” listed beneath their contact information.

Another online resource I’d recommend is the website Refuge in Grief, which is run by a grief counselor who also lost her husband suddenly. Start at this page: refugeingrief.com/life-gone-sideways.

Dear Annie: Thank you so much for mentioning the “It’s OK That You’re Not OK” book. I think I have finally found a perspective that will support my grieving the loss of Elizabeth, my wife of 30 years. — Charles in Greensboro, NC

Dear Charles: I’m so sorry for the loss of your dear Elizabeth, but I’m glad that the book has resonated with you, as it has with me.

— — —

“Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie” is out now! Annie Lane’s debut book — featuring favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.

NEWSLETTER

Today's breaking news and more in your inbox

I'm interested in (please check all that apply)
Are you a paying subscriber to the newspaper? *
   

Starting at $4.62/week.

Subscribe Today