Andy Heller

“Newsweek” magazine had a chart in it recently that worries me. It should probably worry you, too, unless you’re not concerned about the end of humanity as we know it. If that’s the case then go back to watching “Deal or No Deal” and forget I mentioned it. Just don’t be surprised when the planet is atomized, OK? Anyhow, the chart was a photo of the earth from space over which an artist had placed radiating concentric circles, above which were the names of TV shows from the past 70 years. I was personally not aware of this fact, but apparently once a TV show is broadcast, the signal keeps right on going into outer space forever and ever. The earliest televised baseball game and the first ever televised presidential address by FDR, for instance, have already traveled 400 trillion miles. “The Twilight Zone,” “Bonanza” and “The Untouchables” are something like 60 light years out, “Seinfeld” is 30 light years out, and so forth.