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The Democratic convention edition

FLINT- Sorry, Republicans, the Dems are kicking your tushies on this convention business. Yes, theirs started off like the stars of “Dumb and Dumber” were running the show. (I mean, my god, how could they even have considered for one second letting the disgraced and disgusting Debbie Wasserman Shultz gavel in the proceedings?). But yours was a cluster from end to end, with the lone exception being Ivanka, whom I like and would vastly prefer to vote for than her rotten dad. Since the stumble out of the gates, the Dem proceedings have been crisp, emotional and interesting. Even the Bernie boo-birds have calmed down.

Oh, stop. It’s no surprise I’m saying this so don’t get your underpants in a bunch. I’m a liberal. You know that. Deal with it. But objectively you know I’m right – the Dem convention has featured speakers who – whether you agree with their politics or not – are at least presenting a positive, hopeful view of America instead of the crabby uncle, doom and gloom, America’s-gone-to-hell-in-a-handbasket glop that served as the Republican convention theme. Watching speaker after speaker drone on like Schleprock (remember him from the Pebble and Bam-Bam Show – wowzi, wowzi woe woe is me) was depressing as hell.

Then there’s this little difference: The Dem convention also isn’t monochromatic. Watching the Republican convention you got the sense that America is a loaf of Wonder Bread, with maybe a single slice of rye or pumpernickel stuck in there somewhere just for show.

Besides, I don’t care who you are or what your political views are, you have to admit Michelle Obama knocked it out of the park. She was emotional without being forced. And her line juxtaposing slaves building the White House that she wakes up in and her daughters play around was powerful stuff. In a few short words, she made America seem like a place of progress, hope and goodness. Which it is. She also made Trump’s dismal slogan “Make America Great Again” seem silly and trite. Which it is. (Make America great again? Please. We never stopped.)

I sure hope Michelle Obama runs someday. I’d vote for her in a second.

It’s brutally obvious that the Dems aren’t about to let Trump forget about his mocking of the disabled reporter. And good for them. They shouldn’t. Nobody should forget that. Right there, he disqualified himself in my book. Immediately – in my mind and in the minds of millions, I’ll bet – he made it seem like voting for him would be like voting for the big, loudmouth bully we all had in our fourth grade classroom for class president. I wonder if Trump ever feels a pang of guilt or shame for that?

Nah.

All of that said, the Wasserman Schultz episode should be proof positive that Democrats don’t have a patent on the moral high ground. I’m glad she got outed, frankly. Democrats needed a good de-smugging.

My buddy TJ said this about Booker’s speech: “Cory Booker’s speech was so good that in just eight short years, a GOP convention speaker might choose to plagiarize it.” Ouch. The truth – it hurts.

I realize this falls under the category of “That’s what you get for watching MSNBC,” but Brian Williams annoys the heck out of me. The other night he said, “I fear many people think TPP is a product of Charmin.” Ha ha! Brian made a potty joke! Funny! But that’s not what I want out of my anchor.

He’s right, though. Ninety nine percent of the people protesting TPP have no idea what it is or why they’re against it, other than some vague notion that trade agreements are somehow bad for the American worker. That’s why I believe Gov. McAuliffe – a Hillary buddy – was telling the truth when he said she would flip her TPP stance after the election.

America was not built on fear. America was built on courage, on imagination and an unbeatable determination to do the job at hand.” – President Harry S Truman.

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Andrew Heller, an award-winning newspaper columnist, appears weekly in the Daily Press. He graduated from Escanaba Area High School in 1979. Follow him at andrewheller.com and on Facebook and Twitter. Write to him via email at andrewhellercolumn@gmail.com.

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