×

How important is an obituary in the newspaper?

Dear Annie: I have a work colleague whose married son died about six months ago of cancer. His son was in his 40s.

My friend is upset that his son’s wife never put an obituary in the newspaper. Seeing as it is still bothering him, I said he should put one in the paper himself. But he thinks it is too late now.

It seems as if more and more people are just posting funeral information on social media and not putting it in newspapers. I understand why he wants it in the newspaper, as it would create more of a permanent record of his son’s passing. Although, I realize that posting on social media is easier and gets to the appropriate audience. Your thoughts? Should he put it in the newspaper even six months later, or is it too late? — Are Obituaries Over?

Dear Are Obituaries Over?: It’s never too late to honor our loved ones. Despite the ubiquity of social media, printing an obituary in the newspaper remains the best way to commit to record someone’s life when the person has passed on to the next. Additionally, according to a 2017 Nielsen Scarborough study, 69 percent of adults in the U.S. read the newspaper, so it’s an ideal medium for reaching the community. There most likely are some people who knew his son at one point but fell out of contact and would not otherwise know of his death. Encourage your friend to contact the local paper about submitting an obituary commemorating the life of his beloved son.

Dear Annie: I have been a faithful reader of this column for some time and have never seen the subject of paranoid personality disorder here. I was diagnosed with depression many years ago, but it was only recently that PPD was diagnosed. When I Googled paranoid personality disorder, I was shocked to see that I match the disorder symptom for symptom. That explains why I have been paranoid and angry for so long.

I am now estranged from most of my family and friends. After constantly having to put up with my suspicious nature and anger, they have disowned me, including my husband, who divorced me. My kids don’t want anything to do with me, and I am not allowed to see my grandchildren.

I feel helpless to fight for them to be back in my life, because I have hurt them greatly. If I tried to explain that it was this mental illness that made me act that way, they might be even more apprehensive of me. I suspected everyone in my life to be my enemy, and in the end, that’s what everyone became.

Could you please let your readers know what the symptoms of paranoid personality disorder are and that there are support groups available online? — My Own Worst Enemy

Dear Own Worst Enemy: I am so sorry that this disorder has cost you so much. I am glad to hear you’ve found some support, and I hope things improve for you in time. Thank you for opening up and sharing your experience here so that others might learn from it.

——

Dear Annie is written by Annie Lane, a young, married mother of two. Send questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.

NEWSLETTER

Today's breaking news and more in your inbox

I'm interested in (please check all that apply)
Are you a paying subscriber to the newspaper? *
   

Starting at $4.62/week.

Subscribe Today