Rethinking sleepovers after daughter’s revelation
Dear Annie: I have a situation at my home that I really don’t know how to deal with.
We have a blended family, with an 18-year-old daughter and two boys.
My stepdaughter is a senior in high school and just let her mother know she likes girls, even though she has a boyfriend.
We would never let any boys spend the night at our house, but she has had her girlfriends over four or five nights a week at times.
With this new knowledge, what do we do?
We certainly wouldn’t condone sex with either gender, and we have made that clear to her. Certainly, it comes down to trust, but what about the overnight situations now with her girlfriends? — Unsure Parents
Dear Unsure Parents: Seeing as your stepdaughter is 18, she is mature enough to listen to you. Make clear that she is still allowed to have occasional sleepovers — as in once or twice a month, not four or five nights a week — but there is to be nothing sexual happening under your roof between her and her boyfriend or anyone else. As with any privilege that you give to your children, it’s all about trust.
Dear Annie: I read with interest the letter from “Weird, Stupid or Selfish?” — whose husband eats all the decorative candy she puts out. His inability to resist sugar resonated with me, as I have sugar sensitivity and have engaged in exactly the same behaviors. I simply could not resist sugar.
After years of struggling and dieting and sitting in work meetings obsessing about the doughnuts instead of the topic at hand, I discovered the book “Potatoes Not Prozac,” by Kathleen DesMaisons. Her theory is that people who are sugar-sensitive have brains that respond differently to sugar, alcohol and refined carbs and that what they eat and when they eat it have a huge effect on them. She shows how to rebalance blood sugar levels, serotonin and beta-endorphins through small lifestyle changes and offers the latest research, free online support and seven steps to change your life. It is not about willpower; it’s about biochemistry, which her program can slowly improve, just one tiny step at a time, with amazing results.
I have been sugar-free for six years now, lost 25 pounds and never gained any of it back. I can go to dinner with family and don’t even think twice when someone orders dessert. I don’t have cravings, and sugar is no longer on my radar. I am more focused and more tolerant, and the daily mood swings are gone. The woman who wrote to you could suggest to her husband that he check out https://radiantrecovery.com to see whether he does have sugar sensitivity. At the very least, she would be better informed about this condition. — Happy Without Sugar
Dear Happy Without Sugar: I hadn’t considered that health issues might explain her husband’s behavior. In fact, I hadn’t even heard of sugar sensitivity. Thanks for opening my eyes to the condition. I’d like to encourage all readers to talk to their doctors if they find themselves compulsively eating sugary snacks.
Dear Annie is written by Annie Lane, a young, married mother of two. Send questions for Annie Lane to firstname.lastname@example.org.